Love Her!!!

My niece, Evie!!!!! Oh so cute. I seriously want to take her home with me forever!!

Family!!!

I just want to post a few pictures of my niece's and nephew. I am so lucky to have them in my life and I just adore every single one of them.

Halloween!!!!

This Halloween Nathan went as a crazy doctor, Dr. Seymour Guts. He was super excited to get to go trick or treating in our new house with his friend, Max, who was a ninja. Nathan's costume was something that was created by Matt and Nathan on Thursday night and put together Friday night. They had a blast doing it and I really think Matt was more excited about it than Nathan was. : ) We even dressed up George as a biker dog. He did have a hat to go with the outfit but that was not staying on him very well. Halloween this year was pretty warm but very rainy. We have a huge development, which was really nice for the boys. Nathan, Max, George, and Matt came back after trick or treating very wet and Nathan came back red. I guess since it was raining the fake blood on his jacket and mask bled through and made his face, hands, and arms RED. Poor thing. He showered and scrubbed real well but it did not come off all the way. Hopefully tomorrow.

BFF!!!!

Boys Will Be Boys.......

I know some people may not like this post, I do not too much either but marriage and raising children is all about compromise. Matt has pellet guns, 2 of them. One is more like a smaller hand gun and the other is somewhat like a rifle. I guess pellet guns are the same as BB guns too. So, Matt has always wanted to show Nathan how to shoot one and Nathan has always wanted wanted to shoot one. After 3 years I finally caved. Since we have a yard and lots of woods they went on to the deck and went a little nutty shooting the guns. There was a huge safety lesson and Nathan was so very careful. Mom was inside trying to decide to look or not to. They both had a great time. Kind of cute I guess. : )

Our House

Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Well, the count down is finally over. The IUI was not successful. We have had an emotional past few weeks and they are about to start up again. A very smart, wonderful person told me “whatever does not kill us makes us stronger”. I am starting to understand that a little better now. We are strong! We want this so badly so we will pick up the pieces and keep on keeping on. : ) We start round 2 in a few days. My doctor has put me on a different kind of medicine as before with the awful clomid. Apparently the side effects are not as intense as the clomid; hopefully it works just as well though. I should be scheduling my next IUI on July 23ish. As always I will keep you posted. Thank you so much for all the prayers and support from everyone. We love you all!!

11 Days and Counting...........

I have 11 days till I can test and everyday feels like a million days. I am feeling things inside my belly........a baby6 maybe??? Doubt it..........well I know I can not be feeling a baby at this point. I just love the way your mind can totally play tricks on you, actually I hate the way that happens. Maybe I should start by explaining a little about my situation. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a while now with no luck. After many many tests on both our ends we have come back with really no major problems. I started seeing a fertility specialist and he put me on clomid right away. After taking the lowest dose of that for 5 days I felt fine. The 6th day my whole world came crashing down on me. I experienced every single side effect that comes along with this drug. Depression, crying for no reason, sick to my stomach, white flashes in my vision, mood swings, and the list goes on. My poor husband experienced the brunt of it all. It is funny cause they put you on this drug to help get you pregnant but the reality of it is your husband ends up hating you, thinking you are a nut who is losing your mind. Kind of hard to get pregnant when your husband wants nothing to do with you. : ) I am happy to say we made it through a week of hell and even though the clomid made me crazy it helped me produce about 7 follicles. Once I was releasing these follicles or ovulating we had an appt. for an IUI. An IUI is where the take Matt's guys and wash and spin them so only the "good" guys survive. After that they take them and put them in a syringe and insert them into me either right before ovulation or right after. I went to see the doctor on Monday June 22nd and by looking at my blood work and so on they said I would be ovulating Tuesday or Wednesday. We made the appt. for the IUI on Tuesday, while on our way to the office I had so many emotions going through me. I was so nervous, wondering how painful this procedure would be and would it even work? My stomach was in knots. We got into the room and the doctor came in.........he was one of the most wonderful doctors I had ever had. The whole time I am telling Matt to stay by my head, stay by my head, stay by my head. Don't get me wrong he is my husband and he has seen every inch of my body but not in this way. So the doctor says to Matt "Come here Matt, do you want to see your wife's cervix?" I almost died right then and there. He then tells Matt to push the syringe to release his "guys" inside of me and says "Now if this works you can say you had a big part in getting your wife pregnant." Wow..........to look at it like that was kind of nice. I was still a little embarrassed. The procedure was a little painful not as much as I had thought. Just a cramp here and there. The doctor then checked my follicles to see if I had in fact released them and I did NOT. He said there was a chance I still could that night but he recommended we go through another IUI the following day. He said if I did releases the follicles I would know b.c "it would hurt like hell." Wonderful. Well that night it hurt like hell that's for sure. I was not sure if that was something that was normal or if I was releasing my follicles so just to be on the safe side we went back on Wednesday for round 2. Going to that appt. I was not nervous at all, I knew what was going to happen and how it was going to feel. After we did the 2nd IUI the nurse checked to see if I releases the follicles and I did. Success!!!!! I felt a little sore Wednesday night but nothing like I felt on Tuesday night. So, here we are.............waiting for 2 weeks till I can test to see if the procedure worked and if we are finally pregnant. Again I am having many different emotions going through me. I am hopeful but at the same time so many people are telling not to get my hopes up. Matt has a "feeling" we are and we are having a girl. I love that he thinks that. : ) The best part is that's what he wants now..........a baby girl. From day one Matt had always said he did not want a girl. He did think he could handle raising a girl and all that. Now he wants a girl..........ADORABLE!!!!! I on the other hand have always wanted a girl. I have my boy and now want a girl. But going through all this stuff to just get pregnant, I am now wanting just a baby, boy or girl, I don't care. Just want a baby!!! So as I said before we are now in the waiting stage. I am able to test on July 9th............Hurry up and get here July 9th!!

I also want to point out that I have never in my life felt so lucky to have the support of not only my wonderful family but my wonderful friends too. My sister in-law and brother went through some of the same things as Matt and I are going through and they did not tell anyone about their struggles. Like I said before everyone is different and everyone handles things differently. I am the type of person that needs to talk about everything and anything to get through things. I am so glad I did that with this. My family and friends have been so great, helping me with watching Nathan while we had a million appts, always calling and texting asking how every appt. went, how I was feeling, and if I needed anything. I have to give a very big thanks to my wonderful boss and father, who absolutely hates me taking time off from work. You would have never been able to tell that these past few weeks. Dad thank you so much for knowing how much this means to me and be so understanding and supportive with this whole situation. I love you all!!!!